As promised...

It never fails to surprise me how a window opens when a door closes. How life isn't stagnant, but alive, real time, and unpredictable yet determined.

How bad things seem to happen, but they were really the stepping stones to better things all along. How what you think will happen, often doesn't, and not to make a fool of you, but to give you something better.

It makes me feel comfortable to give up control. Or the need for it. To trust in the process, let go, and for lack of a better phrase, "let God". What I mean is, letting the forces that be take control and steer the way.

I mean sure, I participate. I make decisions, set goals, have dreams. But I believe these are mostly messages sent to me to lead to what's meant to be.

Have you seen Interstellar? A space and time travel movie featuring Matthew Mcconaughey? Well, its been out a while, if you haven't seen it, I apologize for the spoiler, but you had more than enough time to see it by now.

Okay… Remember how the oddities happening around him in the beginning turned out to be messages from him in the future?

I wonder if that's what some of these things are. These signs, messages. I mostly believe in a higher power. Angels, God, Source, whatever you want to call it. But there's also the possibility that it's you. Your subconscious communicating with your higher self that knows what's happening and what's to come.

When I look back at decisions I've made, usually the smallest ones, and how they rippled out into the features of the present, it astounds me. Makes me feel the power of potential, grateful for the autonomy I have, and humbled by the rewarding outcomes of my past judgements.

Like seeing the merit of your mental processing. The delivery of your discipline. And the order in your chaos.

I feel this overwhelming sense of gratitude, when I slow my mind down just enough to realize how much of what I have is what I prayed for. Asked for, wanted. It's not in the form I necessarily expected, but it's here, full bodied and fleshed out. It tempts me to dream more, think more, expand my mind to the possibilities of what I could ever want. But then I think, why am I always pushing for more? Is it selfish? Or ambitious? Bratty? Or determined? Fortunate? Or opportunistic?

It's obviously an all of the above type answer. No sense in debating one way or another. It's many faceted, unfixed and flowing. But it's always changing, and what's more, growing.

I'm learning to see every down turn as a launching point to an up. Every bad mood as a contrast to the goods. And every open end as a road to potential and not a source of anxiety. The picture fills in, every time. The scenery shifts naturally, it never just whites out, as if reaching the edge of the sim.

There's always an answer. There's never an outlier. And there's often a test. Learn to recognize all of these, and that is how you live the fullest life. That's it: pay attention. Learn the language of intuition. Make the right choices, not the easy ones. And you should be rewarded.

Okay, I'm sure you've had enough philosophical "life is so great" mumbo jumbo.

I just wanted to live up to my promise of a break from vacation updates.

All my love,

G