It's Begun
I'm here. I've landed. And it feels so weird. Like I'm seeing myself in memories instead of real time. There's a calm awkwardness about it. Like a baby concentrated on its first steps. I know it will get better.
I feel like I'm getting ready to stumble down a rabbit hole. Which is basically what I've set myself up to do. And all I can do it intend and hope and pray that I'll come out better on the other side.
Saying goodbye was odd. Not as emotional as I thought. If I'm being perfectly honest, I just couldn't wait to get the fuck out. Despite the hesitation and fear I felt in the lead up to this trip, there's no other choice I would have made. It definitely feels like right time, right place. If there could ever be one.
On the plane, I sat next to a man that followed a woman to Canada 27 years ago. He was going home to visit family, we talked a bit about it, and he seemed disappointed in the life he had chosen. He loves it back home, Portugal, but now his life is Canada. Windsor, Canada. He works to live, and that's about it. And it made me kind of sad, but also inspired.
I'm glad I'm not doing this for anyone else but myself. Making decisions based on other people is a sticky wicket. How do you NOT resent someone after enough time? All they have to do is disappoint you, and suddenly the whole thing falls apart. And you wonder, why the fuck am I here?
I hope I never have to compromise my life in that way. I mean, it's a part of life, I know that. And it very well may be my fate one day as it is most others. But a girl can dream.
I'm so sleepy. Sleeping on planes is awful. I need one of those funky blow-up pillows that let you sleep anywhere.
LOL just kidding, I meant this one:
There was this young family sitting on the other side of me. The mom and her toddler laughed hysterically at improvised games, which was cute, for like the first minute. Then at some point the kid got cranky and proceeded to scream cry for the better part of an hour. And what did Mom and Dad do? They both put headphones on and ignored the poor miserable thing. Not that I'm some expert on parenting, but when it comes to public places, especially planes late at night, do whatever the fuck you have to do to shut the kid up ASAP. It's the least you can do.
Oh, while I'm on the theme of calling out people for stupid everyday things, here's a message to EVERYONE who pees. If you're not gonna sit on the seat, put it up. Or clean your mess. Don't squat pee and leave the scene untouched for someone else to clean up. Shame on you.
Moving on…
Lisbon is quite beautiful. The buildings have a lot of character. The people are approachable. Even the sidewalks are interesting. I think Toronto/ the Western world could take a lesson in side walks. They are just SO boring compared to what they've got over here.
Oh and DOORS! The entrance doors here are all so unique and attention grabbing. I want to take a picture of them, I want to frame them, put them on a shelf so I can look at them later. I don't exactly know the fascination, but there totally is one. Wherever I settle down eventually, I need me a european doorway.
Tonight I'm staying in an all female hostel dorm, thought it was safe for my first night stay. To be able to get a solid rest without wondering if there's any weirdos sleeping near me. Tomorrow I've put myself in a party hostel. Not sure yet if that was the best idea. I guess I'll just have to wait and find out. I need something to pick up my energy a bit. Solo travel is great, but the energy of it doesn't really hit the spectrum of fun like it does when you have people to share experiences with.
Alright I think I'm gonna take a nap before dinner. Actually, that's probably an awful idea. I should have a green tea instead. Ya, I'll do that.
That's it for tonight.
AML
G