Bad vibe guilt

I feel so overwhelmed.

By people. By thoughts. Emotions.

By things I want to say but can't.

I'm all for this positivity kick that everyone's leaning towards, but there's one fundamental problem: it's not practical.

Sometimes you feel shitty. Sometimes your day is just plain bad. And people don't want to hear that shit. They never did, but now more than ever they don't.

So what are you supposed to do?

Suppress it? Journal it? See a therapist?

I guess the way of the Buddha would be to meditate that bad day away. But maybe that's not possible because you have a pile of work and post-work plans.

There's no excuse. There's always a chance to meditate, I guess. You just have to cease the opportunity.

I hermit when I'm mad. When I have a bad day all I want is the comfort of solitude to sulk and be whatever energy I happen to be.

I hold my crystals. I talk to my angels. Or listen to heavy metal. Sometimes, all three.

Apparently affirmations are key: I am happy. I am healthy. I am healing. I am whole. … Stuff like that. Sort of a, fake it til you make it type deal. Supposedly it works for some people. Tony Robbins type people. Now there's an interesting individual. Don't know if I'd sip on his Kool-Aid. I'm on the fence with him.

But why do we need it? Why do we need people like him? I'll tell you what I think, which is pretty obvious and actually just a popular thought more than an original one. I think it's because we think there's something fundamentally wrong with us if we feel anything less than: happy, healthy, healing, whole.

And maybe there is. But realistically, that's part of the human experience. Feeling shitty. Having bad days. Feeling angry. Getting annoyed. Things going wrong. Things being wrong with us. It's all SO human. To be above it would be divine. And even then, if God were a person, I bet even they would have a bad day every now and then.

So I say ride the wave. Experience the shitty mood. Witness yourself in it. Hold space for yourself through it. Don't suppress it. Don't deny it. Own it. And you might just find, it subsides sooner than you think.

Or don't and do a bunch of self care until you feel better or forget about it.

Who am I to know the answer to this conundrum?

I have bad days too. Honestly, more often then I'd like.

That's it for tonight.

AML