Loose lips sink ships

One thing that has always bothered me is gossip.

Ashamedly, I admit I used to participate in it quite a bit. Between friends, relatives, coworkers, teammates. I would talk negatively of anyone who bothered me, or even just people who were different.

When I was younger, I felt superior to those I spoke of. I felt a sense of bonding with those who listened to it, more so to those who joined in.

But when it was someone else's gossip, it made my inside twist and feel uneasy. It gave me anxiety. It made me awkward around the person, and feel divided by loyalty to the gossiper, and sympathy for the person being talked about.

At some point I decided to quit gossip. I felt it was a bad habit that would never make me a better person. As much as I possibly could I stopped discussing people who weren't around. Sure, I will still say neutral or positive things about people, but I really try to avoid saying anything negative or speculative or judgemental or rude.

I'll confess, it's not the easiest habit to break, and it's difficult to avoid at times. Sometimes you can't help but say awful things about people you don't like. Or be critical of someone who made a wrong choice. But, what it boils down to, is: it's wrong. People have reasons, and my judgement of their choices is very likely an ignorance on my side.

I eventually found that it wasn't enough to just not gossip in order to get gossip out of my life. To truly eradicate gossip, shut it down in the mouths I was witness to, I had to stand up for the person being spoken about. Or, if I am feeling brave enough, call out the person gossiping for their lack of tact.

I refuse to stick around that kind of conversation anymore. Sure, sometimes there is a blurry line between discussing a controversial person and their issues, and just flat out speaking negatively of them. But so long as you are expressing concerns and facts, I think that's fine.

It's when people get into topics of being critical or judgemental or speculative or even just mean for no real reason, that I shut down.

The world does not need more negative energy. It does not need more rumour and ignorance and animosity.

If you don't like a person, figure out why, and try your best to make peace with that reason. Otherwise, remove that person from your brain, or do or say something to make a change.

As the saying goes: if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. I believe that whole heartedly. It's just putting it into practice that is the challenge.

So tonights message: Stop gossiping. It's a bad habit.

All my love