Happy Schmalentine's Day

I really think Valentine's day should be cancelled as a holiday. OR, we should get the day off to "love" or sulk or binge eat chocolate.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the celebration of love.

But what I'm not down for is the imposition.

As a kid, Valentine's was stressful. Picking the cards that spoke your truth. Who got what cards, and what in-between-the-lines message went to whom. The thought seemed so exciting, but really it was just a bunch of "From: Me, To: You". No actual confessions from secret admirers and their undying love.

One year, grade 6 actually, I stuffed a secret admirer letter in the desk of my crush Marco, and a Valentine's teddy into his back pack. He didn't know who it was from, so he told his friends and it became a public spectacle. There was no way I was going to own up to it after that. Also, he didn't find the letter until the end of the school year. By the time he figured it all out, I had given up and moved on.

Funnily enough, Marco and I still hang out from time to time. We have a lovely friendship. And I sometimes wonder if it's because of that bear and letter that we have the bond that we do... But probably not.

Then there came the age of dating. When Valentine's became a special thing you celebrated with one person. There had to be a formal date, or something cheesy, like a bunch of lovey-dovey romantic gestures. It just all seemed so contrived.

My ex Anthony was really great at writing my Valentine's cards. He always knew exactly what to say to make me feel really special. I actually really enjoyed Valentine's day when I was with him.

After we split, Valentine's was hard. From then 'til this day I haven't been in a serious committed relationship.

And for as much as a part of me wishes I was, any time I get close to having it, I panic.

I'm all for spreading the message of love. But the idea of being in it again terrifies me.

As if there wasn't enough pressure on dating and relationships already.

Valentine's Day is not necessary, because all it does is force the couple to really feel their feelings, acknowledge and admit them, and do so willingly.

True couples shouldn't need a commercialized day to make them celebrate their love. That should be every day, or at least, most days.

Then there's the worst fact: kids conceived Valentine's Day almost always end up born Scorpio's. The world does not need more Scorpio's. It never has, and it never will. No offence. But I think that's fair to say.

I'll try to end this on a positive note:

The best Valentine's Day I can remember had nothing to do with a significant other. Instead, it was during my courier years when I was delivering stuff on my bike in the city all day. I filled a sling bag with maybe a hundred Valentine's cards I had prepared the night before, and gave them out to complete strangers throughout the day.

People in elevators, receptionists, other cyclists, people on the street. That was the Valentine's day that I felt, shared, and spread the most genuine human love I can remember.

And that's what this holiday should be about. Not romantic love, but community love. Love for our family, our friends, our neighbours and our garbage men. For our colleagues, our service providers, our landlord's, and of course, our pets. The world could always use an extra dose of love. ALWAYS.

That's what it should be about. That's it.

All MY love,