The Curse and Absurdity of Speaking Your Mind

I wish I was better at telling people to fuck off.

I wish it was as simple as saying:

Hey Teddy, I think you're a bullshit, selfish person and your girlfriend deserves to know what a scumbag liar she's dating.

Hey Brook, how about you get a new attitude and stop being an entitled gossipy cunt for like a minute.

Hey Gerald, could you try NOT looking like a child molester serial killer for a day?

Hey Francis, cut me off mid-sentence one more time and I'll fucking rip out your vocal chords then shove them right back down your fucking throat.

But it's just not that simple. Believe it or not, people don't appreciate being spoken to like that, and so we avoid it. We shut up, avoid eye contact, and at most say something passive aggressive to suggest there's tension without outright saying it.

It comes out as, "Wow, I haven't seen you in a while", when really you wanted to say "Ugh, why are you here". You say, "Sounds like you've got a lot on your plate", when really you meant "stop badgering me with your problems!"

We go indirect, because direct is too hurtful. And we don't want to hurt people. We want people to like us, even if we don't like them.

Avoiding confrontation and drawing out an issue is uncomfortable, but it's more comfortable and definitely easier than saying what you really mean.

Because when you say what you mean, then you're a bitch, a dick, or an asshole, or some other vulgar part of the body. You can't seriously call someone a twat and not expect some backlash.

It's all just too negative on the energy spectrum to go there. It's a downward spiral into a catty hell. No one wants that.

There's obviously a middle ground somewhere. But it's really not obviously found, and usually takes a professional or third party to point it out.

There's always the approach of ignoring and avoiding the person, in the hopes that they just figure it out.

But sometimes you just have to count your losses, pull back the filter and say,

"Hey Dan, you're a creep and you make me uncomfortable. Get the fuck out of my car, lose my number and never talk to me again."

Of course then there's a risk that they go ballistic and murder you in a fit of rage.

So maybe assess the risk, and if it's relatively safe, give them that piece of your mind.

Otherwise, bite your tongue and suppress it like everything else you've held back on.

There's no answer for you today. No inspiring "you can do it!" theme. Just frustrated with everything I'm not saying.

Withholding love,