Mind Power

Ever lie awake at night and think about every cringey thing you've ever done or said?

You toss and turn, wishing you had the better sense to know how that moment's lapse in judgement would play out, and how it could have been avoided. You think about the hundreds of better ways you could have handled the situation, responded to the confrontation, or behaved in the face of an awkward adversity.

The painful truth is, you cannot change the past. You can't take those things back, the bad joke, the off comment, they're stuck there, in the past. But here's the loophole we don't often think about: no one really cares. Most certainly, no one care more than you do, right then, in that moment.

Think about it. How often do you think about the cringey or embarrassing things OTHER people have done or said? How much do you lament over them? Your answer is very likely, never, and never.

You see, people are so transfixed on their own lives, and their own cringey moments, their own worries, anxieties and busy lives, that they don't have time or the desire to think about what you have done in their presence. Sure, they were there to witness it, but very likely their own thoughts were so loud, that they barely even noticed.

At most, if they did notice, maybe they got a laugh out of it. Maybe it made them grateful they weren't the one who said it, or that it made them look better. Your awkward moment was very likely a reminder to anyone witnessing, that we are all human who say and do stupid things sometimes, and that's OKAY.

So what if you're the awkward person. The only person who thinks about it as much as you do is YOU. If instead of putting your brain power into thinking about that, you put it into thinking about questions you want answers to or conversations you'd like to have, pretty soon you'd step out of the awkward closet and into the social world. Where more people have social anxieties than you may think.

Take solace in the fact that everyone has these moments. Everyone suffers from awkwardness sometimes, everyone wonders how they are being received and interpreted by others. The paradox is, it's the ones who don't actually care about these things that live with the most peace mentally. Because devil may care, but they don't.

The most wonderful thing about our brain is that we can leave a train of thought at any moment. Sure, sometimes we somehow find our way back on it, but practice leaving it enough times, and eventually you break the spell.

At any moment, you could be thinking about anything. Literally, ANY THING you care to think about. Complementary colours, the lyrics of your favourite song, the magical life of a butterfly, where babies come from. ANYTHING. I almost consider that a super power. And it's one we just don't use enough.

So next time you find yourself back and forth in your mind suffering over things said and done you wish you could take back, stop, breathe, and put them down (figuratively). Leave them where you are in that moment, and engage your mind in something else, anything else. Think about the things you'd like to achieve, the kinds of people you'd like to meet, think about 5 impossible things.

That is the beautiful power of the mind.